Uwi ng Maaga

Payo lng:
s future,
pg ng asawa
kna at
gus2 mong
umuwi ng
maaga ang
iyong asawa,

gni2, itxt
mu xa..




"Sex wil start at
8pm, w/ or w/o you!"

hahahaha ",

Man meets woman at club

Man meets woman at
club. He finds woman
rich and still gorgeous at
55. They drink and dance
til d woman whispers to
him: I feel horny. Hw wd
u lyk 2 hv a double
treat wd a Mother and
Daughter hmm? Excitd
man sed: YES YES! Dey
went 2 woman's hauz.
Upon reaching her
home d woman
shouted,


"MOM, R U STIL
AWAKE?"

hahaha :p

Expensive Anniversary

Boyfriend: last night on
our anniversary, my
grlfriend demanded I
take her someplace
expensive...

...so I took her to a gas
station. Ngalet sya.

Mali ba yung gnawa
ko? O dpat sa bgasan
ko na lng sya
dinala?

hehe :)

Busy Me

Have been busy these past few days. Tons of school works and requirements. Still no thesis proposal. Sigh! But I'll try to be active again in this blog. I also have a new blog, spotdat.blogspot.com. I'll be posting some of my net findings there including movies, songs, e-books, magazines, games and more. Once in a while, I'll be posting some stuffs there and I'll try to post new SMS joke messages in this blog regularly. Have fun and take cre :)

Mental Asylum

IN A MENTAL ASYLUM..

REPORTER: Dr, how do u
know if a person has 2
b admitted?

DR: We fil a bathtub
wid water, give d
patient a spoon, a cup
& a bucket, & den ask
him 2 empty d bathtub.

REPORTER: Aha! A
normal person wud of
course use d bucket!

DR: No, he'd pull d
drain plug. Do u want a
room or a ward? :p

Remove the 7 signs of Skin Aging

If you want to remove
your wrinkles, pimples,
face marks & the 7
signs of skin aging




try..













ADOBE
PHOTOSHOP!

:p

Jip

Mnsn
smakay
aq
sa jip
ngttaka
aq
kng
bkt
lht
cla
nktingin
skin
ayw nla
kumibo
nktitig
lng cla skin
my 1 nglkas
ng loob
at
cnbi:


"ksabot kag
FAMILY USE ONLY?" :p

Why People Change

There are
2 reasons
why people change:




either tapos na maligo,


or basa na ng pawis.

hehe

Mahal kita kahit Lindol, Sunog, Tsunami at Tornado

BOY: Mhal kta.! i luv u!
kht Lindol, sunOg,
tsunami at tOrnadO
ppnthan kta s inyo,..

GiRL: Bkt ng brtday q
wla k?..

BOY: Ano kc...







umaambon...

Prangka

Boy: Prangkahin mo
nga ako babae ka!!
Dalawang taon na
akong nanliligaw syo!
Sasagutin mo ba ako o
hndi?!

Girl: Hndi!

Boy: hmp! napaka
prangka mo naman..

:p

Tumaas na ang lahat!

Tumaas na ang lahat



bigas
de lata
tax
kuryente
tuition
tubig
pamasahe
oil
renta
gas


tzaka
populasyon





isa nlng ang di pa
tumaas...




C GLORIA.. haha

Walang Kagalit

Pari magmimisa: "Sino
sa inyo ang may
kagalit?"

Taas kamay lhat pwera
isa matanda babae.

Pari: "Si Lola lang ang
walang kagalit! Ano
edad nyo lola?"

Lola: "90 anyos."

Pari: "Tignan nyo si
Lola 90 na walang
kagalit! Bakit wla kyo
kagalit Lola?"

Lola: "Patay na ang
mga putang-ina!"

:p

The Little Turtle

A little turtle began 2
climb a tree. Aftr
hOurs of efort, he richd d
top, jump 2 d air
waving his legs. He
crashd 2 d ground. He
tryd agen & once more
he failed. A bird cOuple
was wtching d turtle.
Finally d female bird
sed: "Dear .. I think 8s
tym we tel hm he's
adoptd.."

:)

Globe Unlitxt

Boy: musta?

Girl: ok lng..ü kw?ü

Boy: k lng dn..ü hehe..ü

Girl: hehe..ü

Boy: ü

Girl: ü




Sa Globe Unlitxt,
WALANG KWENTA ang
usapan!
haha ü

Naholdap

B1: pre, nholdap aq
muntk p q mmtay!

B2: bkt, d kb humngi ng
2long?

B1: ngtxt aq s pulis
station!

B2: bkt, anng rply?

B1: haynku, e2 rply!


"hu u? Wr did u get my
no.?"

Not Happily Ever After

Rapunzel, Cinderella, &
Sleeping Beauty..



all ds women lived
hapily evr aftr..




until dy dscovrd dy wr
all marryd 2d sme
man.




Prince Charming :p

Pinoy Archaelogist

Japanese
archaeologist digging
100m down found
copper wire- says
"Very Good! Our great
ancestors of 1000 yrs
already had
telephone!"

American dug 200m
and found optical
cable- says
"My God! This means
our great forefathers
already had broadband
2000 yrs ago!"

Pinoy digs 500m and
found nothin- says:






"Anlupit ng mga ninuno
natin! WIRELESS!"
astig! :)

Where does Poo come from?

a little grl walks up to
her dad asking, "dad,
wer does poo come
from?" the father ws
surprised wd such a
complex question. "you
knw hw we jst ate
brkfst?" "yes," said
the grl. "wel d fud
goes into ur tummies
and our bodies tke all
the gud stuff. wtever
is left comes out from
our ass wen we go to
the toilet, and that's
POO." the little grl
shocked, her eyes
wtery and ws abt 2 cry
as she ask,



"and tigger?"

(^^)

Concert Tickets

BF: bumili aq 3 tickets
s isang concert.cgrado
mgging msya gbi ntin.

GF: h! Bkt tatlo?

BF: sa ttay mo, nnay
mo at sa kuya mo! S
CONCERT CLA, S BHAY
TAU! :]

Listahan ng mga Takot Sakin

BRUNO: No yng nsa ppel
n yn?

PEDRO: Listahan ng mga
tkot skn.

BRUNO: Ptngin nga..Bkt
and2 pnglan ko?

PEDRO: Bkt la2ban kb?

BRUNO: Oo!

PEDRO: E d ierase! Pde
nmn e! Hehe

Winning a Person

if yOu want sOmeOne,

dOnt expect dat pRson
2 just fly tO yOu.

YOu shUd pUt a LittLe
effOrt nd patiEnce
winNing dAt pErSOn.


if it dOesnt wOrk,

weLL,


u jUz hvE 2dO it d hArd
wAy. . .

ThEre r wOrdz sUch aS:

KIDNAP,
RAPE,
BLACKMAIL,
& TORTURE :)

be cReative. . :)

hahaha!

Nais Gawin

lalaki umuwi at nkita
ang GF n nkasexy
lingerie

gf: "itali mko tpos gwin
mo ang nais mong
gwin"

tinali ni bf c gf tpos..





nagDota xa.. haha

Eksena Sa Jeep

Eksena s jeep..

BOy: miss,mgsusot k b
ng hkaw qng wla kng
tenga?

Girl: xmpre ndi!

BOy: eh sing2 qng wla kng
daliri?

Girl: of cors nt!

Boy: eh bkt k nkbra? :p

wahahahaha!

500

TITSER: Bkt ka na-late?

STUDENT: Nawalan ho
kc ng 500 ung lalaki.

TITSER: Tnulungan mo
xang maghanap?

STUDENT: Hnd
po, tinapakan q lng
hnggang umalis cya.. :)

What is Shock?

What is Shock?



It is when a man
is having sex
with a pregant
woman and suddenly..



A tiny hand grabs his
dick from the inside..



DADDY!!
Huyi ka!!